Relativity (Work In Progress)
by kyrdwyn
Summary: Grissom gets a call from a friend in Los Angeles and confronts someone from his past
1. Chapter 1

Relativity - by kyrdwyn  
  
Rated: R - adult themes, etc.  
  
Spoilers: none to the series  
  
Synopsis: Gil gets a call from an old friend that causes him to confront someone from his past.  
  
Disclaimer: I own all original characters in the story. Gil and the CSI crew are the property of Anthony Zuiker, Alliance Atlantis, other companies, and the actors who bring them to life.  
  
Feedback is welcome and appreciated.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
The phone ringing in the middle of the night wasn't unusual. When he'd gone to bed, he'd made sure both his regular phone and cell phone were nearby.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Gil? It's Natalie."  
  
"Natalie?" He sat up in bed, running his fingers through his hair. He hadn't heard from Natalie in over a year. "What's up?"  
  
"I need your help, Gil. I'm kind of in a jam here."  
  
"A jam? What kind of jam? Something happen at the school?" Natalie taught second grade in a Los Angeles private school.  
  
"There's been a murder at the school. The body was found in my classroom. They haven't arrested anyone yet, but you know I'm going to be a suspect." She paused, and when she spoke again he could hear the tremor in her voice. "Gil, I'm so scared. I know the person who was found."  
  
Gil was already getting dressed from the time Natalie had mentioned a murder. "I can be in LA in five hours, Nat. Just remember - don't talk to the police until they talk to you. Don't volunteer anything. Got a pen? Good," Gil gave her his cell phone number. "Call me if anything happens, okay?"  
  
"Okay. Thanks so much, Gil. I hate to impose but I just didn't know who else to call."  
  
"Natalie," he said to the woman who should have been his sister by marriage, "you know I'll always help you. No matter what."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Grissom was two miles from the state line when he realized that he hadn't called Catherine. He stopped at a gas station to fill up and dialed her cell phone.  
  
"Catherine Willows."  
  
"Cath, it's Grissom. Look, I'm taking some personal time for the next week. Can you run the unit?"  
  
She was silent for a moment. "When did this come up?"  
  
"A few hours ago. I know it's sudden but it's important. It's personal," he reiterated.  
  
She sighed. "Okay, but you are going to owe me when you get back."  
  
"I know. Thanks, Catherine."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Natalie opened the door before Gil had the chance to knock. Her face, normally so open and carefree, was lined with worry. She was in jeans and a sweatshirt, her reddish hair disheveled.  
  
"Oh God, Gil," she said as she stepped back to let him in. "This is all so freaky."  
  
He shut the door behind him. "Just tell me what happened, Nat. It'll be okay."  
  
She turned and walked into her living room, and he followed. "One of the other teachers went into the school yesterday to decorate her classroom for the new semester. She noticed the door to my room was open, looked in, and found the body. The police said it was Josh Carlyle. He's another teacher - 8th grade."  
  
"The police have talked to you?"  
  
"They came by the other night. Wanted to know where I was the other day. I told them I spent the day at home - I was painting one of the upstairs bedrooms. They asked to see the room, and I showed them."  
  
"What else did they ask?" He watched Natalie as she paced around the living room, her bare feet silent on the wood floor. He stood in the doorway, his hands in his pockets. He felt a little odd - listening to someone talk about being questioned. Especially Natalie.  
  
"If I got along with Josh, etc. He was a good teacher. He would ask me out at least twice a semester. But I kept telling him his wife would object."  
  
"He was married?"  
  
"Yeah. Look, Gil, I didn't kill him."  
  
"I know."  
  
Natalie stopped in her pacing and stared at him, stunned by his calm statement. She sank down onto her couch. He came over and sat down next to her. "Look, Nat, I know this is overwhelming. But the police will find who did this."  
  
"Or rather the crime scene guys will?" she asked with the first smile he'd seen since he'd arrived.  
  
He smiled at her smile. "Yeah, they will."  
  
Natalie's smile faded and she looked like she was about to cry. "Gil, the body was found in my classroom!" Her voice rose. "My fingerprints, my hairs - everything! I listened to the conversations between you and Dawn!"  
  
Gil reached out to touch Natalie's hand. "The killer will have left something of himself behind as well, Natalie. Something that shouldn't be in your classroom. The lab boys will find it."  
  
"I wish I had your faith in science, Gil," she said bitterly.  
  
He sighed, understanding the tone. "I wish I had your faith in people."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Julia Raven looked across the body at Detective Martin. "Blunt force trauma to the cranium. Probably a baseball bat, I'd say aluminum since I didn't find any splinters in the wound."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"No sign of sexual activity. No ligatures, but his arms were nearly removed from their sockets. Given his size and weight, I'd say your killer dragged him by his arms to where you found the body. There is some discoloration on the wrists, here, that could be a bruise from the killer's fingers. Couldn't get any fingerprints off the skin, though."  
  
"Think someone 5'6 and 155 pounds could drag him?"  
  
Julia tilted her head to one side. "Maybe, but he's got about 5 inches and 70 pounds on them. The person who dragged him would be pretty sore, probably have shoulder problems. What about your suspect?"  
  
"She claims she was painting her guest bedroom the day he was killed. Showed us the room, too. Nice touch, huh?"  
  
"Might explain any shoulder problems. Then again, she could be telling the truth," Julia cautioned the detective. Gayle smiled.  
  
"Well, let me know if you find anything else."  
  
Julia watched Gayle walk out of the room and sighed. The other woman had a well-deserved reputation for tenacity. Julia almost felt sorry for the suspect if she was innocent.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Natalie was still asleep when Gil got up the next morning. He started the coffee maker and sat at her kitchen table. The last time he'd been in Natalie's house, he and Dawn had been on a visit shortly after they'd become engaged. That was three years ago, and he'd practically been a different person. Natalie had come down for breakfast to find Dawn on his lap, their breakfast turning cold. Natalie had made a remark about public displays of affection, and they'd broken off the kiss.  
  
Gil filled his coffee mug. He still woke up at night from dreams about Dawn. His house was too empty now without her around. He missed waking up in the afternoons to hear her quiet footsteps when she got home from school. Like Natalie, Dawn had been a teacher, and she had loved her job they way he loved his.  
  
The ringing of the doorbell brought him out of his memories. He frowned, moving from the kitchen to the front hall. He didn't want the visitor to wake Natalie up. He had a feeling she hadn't slept since the police had questioned her. He wished she had called him right after that, rather than waiting a day.  
  
He peered through the peephole. An unfamiliar woman stood on the doorstep. He disengaged Natalie's alarm system and opened the door.  
  
"May I help you?"  
  
The woman looked at him in surprise. "Who are you?"  
  
"I think that's my question," he said mildly, not moving from the door.  
  
"I'm Detective Martin, LAPD," she said, holding up her shield. Gil glanced at it.  
  
"What can I do for you, Detective?"  
  
"I'm looking for Natalie Jensen."  
  
"May I ask why?"  
  
Detective Martin glared at him. "Its in regard to an ongoing investigation into a homicide that occurred at Ms. Jensen's school. Who are you, anyway?"  
  
"Gil Grissom. I'm a friend of Natalie's."  
  
"Mr. Grissom, you are interfering in a police investigation by not allowing me to speak to Ms. Jensen."  
  
Gil raised an eyebrow. "Detective, you haven't asked to speak to Natalie."  
  
She glared at him again, but couldn't argue with him. "Well, then, may I speak with Ms. Jensen, Mr. Grissom?" Her voice was clipped.  
  
"Certainly. Let me get her for you," Gil said before closing the door, leaving Detective Martin on the step. Normally, he wouldn't have been so rude, but the woman's attitude was bothering him. He turned to find Natalie standing on the steps, her hand over her mouth and laughter sparkling in her green eyes.  
  
"You're terrible, Gil," she said as she came down the steps and opened the door. "Detective Martin, come in. Forgive my friend, he just got in last night and is a little grouchy before his first cup of coffee."  
  
Detective Martin walked past Gil into the living room, Natalie following. Gil closed the door and followed them to lean against the wall.  
  
"So, Ms. Jensen, how are your shoulders?"  
  
Natalie frowned. "My shoulders are fine."  
  
"Are you sure? You were painting the other day," Detective Martin said, her voice indicating her disbelief.  
  
"Yes, I was. But I've been re-painting my house for the past month. Look, if you don't believe me, check down at the Home Depot. Melvin in Paints knows me by name."  
  
Detective Martin wrote this down, but she didn't look convinced. "So, Mr. Grissom," she asked. "What do you do for a living?"  
  
"I'm a forensic scientist with the Las Vegas Police Department."  
  
That got the detective's attention. "Really? Convenient for you to be in Los Angeles at this point."  
  
"No, Natalie called me and asked me to come down here to act as moral support."  
  
"And do you always provide 'moral support' to your friends in other cities, Mr. Grissom?"  
  
"When that friend also happens to be the sister of my fiancée, yes, I do."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gayle Martin found Julia Raven in her office, typing up her report on the computer.  
  
"You get anything else on that dead teacher?"  
  
"Yep. Toxicology report shows traces of morphine - the chemical breakdown of heroin. Looks like he'd been doing heroin at some point before his death. I went back and found a needle mark in between his toes. Hard to tell if it was voluntary or not, though."  
  
"Oh come on, Dr. Raven. Not voluntary?"  
  
Julia shrugged. "I only found one needle mark on his entire body. One. He hadn't been snorting anything up his nose, either. So, either it was his first time or someone else injected him."  
  
"How many people would you let near your feet with a needle?"  
  
"I wouldn't let my husband near my feet with a needle. But that's not the point. He didn't have to know they were going to inject them. He just had to be comfortable enough to be barefoot around them. Probably something like wife, lover, etc."  
  
"His wife claims she was shopping when she was killed. No credit card activity that day. And the teacher was painting her house."  
  
"Was the teacher his lover?"  
  
"She says no. Oh, and you'll love this, she called a friend down from Las Vegas to provide moral support. She claims he's her sister's fiancé. I don't buy it."  
  
Julia took off her glasses and pushed her brown braid back over her shoulder. "Why not?"  
  
"Well, first off, there's no sign of the sister. Who calls down their sister's fiancé without calling in her sister? And secondly - he's a forensic scientist with their police department."  
  
Julia raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. Her own expert to claim we screwed up the evidence?"  
  
"Possible, though he didn't ask me about the evidence. He wasn't going to let me into her house, though."  
  
"It wasn't his house, Gayle."  
  
"Yes, but he should know better - he works with the cops!"  
  
Julia sighed. "And you're investigating a friend of his."  
  
"Anyway, you know people in Las Vegas, right?"  
  
"I know one of their coroners, David Robbins. Let me guess, you want me to verify this guy is telling the truth?"  
  
"If you wouldn't mind. I'll check through the personnel department up there, but I just want to make sure he's legit and all."  
  
"I'll need a name, you know."  
  
"Gil Grissom."  
  
Gayle was already out the door, so she didn't see the look of shock that crossed Julia's face.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The school arranged for Natalie to have a different classroom, in light of the fact that hers was likely to remain a crime scene for a while. With school starting soon, Natalie wanted to get ready. Luckily, she didn't have anything she really needed in the old room.  
  
"I wouldn't want to go in there anyway," she told Gil as she stapled paper to a bulletin board. He was sitting at one of the student desks, writing student names onto slips of paper. Natalie was planning to post the names on the board to welcome her students when the new year began. He looked up at Natalie's muffled laugh and saw her grinning.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"I'm sorry, but that desk is…well…its like Gulliver in a Lilliputian school."  
  
Gil looked down at the desk. Granted, the desk was a little small for his 5'11" frame, but Natalie's desk was covered with her school supplies. He scowled at her. "You asked me to help you decorate your classroom, and now you make fun of me?"  
  
She hastily assumed a serious expression. "No, of course I wouldn't."  
  
"Liar."  
  
She stuck her tongue out at him and went back to her decorating. He continued to write names.  
  
"You ever help Dawn with this?" she asked casually.  
  
He paused in writing Marissa Raven and looked up. Natalie had her back to him. He shook his head as he replied. "Dawn didn't really have a classroom that was 'hers', the building was so crowded that the teachers were moving rooms along with the students."  
  
"I don't know how she managed to teach in a public high school."  
  
"I don't know how you manage to teach 28 seven and eight year olds every year."  
  
"I love my job, Gil." She paused, then turned to him and smiled. "And so did Dawn."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"And Gil loves his job with his bugs and bodies," a voice said from the doorway. Both Gil and Natalie turned to see a woman with long brown hair and blue eyes, in jeans, blouse, and black nylon jacket with the LAPD shield on it.  
  
"Who are you?" Natalie asked suspiciously.  
  
"I'm Dr. Julia Raven, I'm a forensic pathologist for the Los Angeles Police Department."  
  
"Formerly Julia Grissom, my sister," Gil said quietly. Natalie turned to look at him in shock, then back at Julia, seeing the resemblance in the eyes, the chin. They were even looking at each other with the same identical expressions of curiosity. Natalie found it odd that there was no warmth between them. Then again, she'd known Gil for eight years and never known he had a sister.  
  
"Hello, Gil. Quite a shock to see you shacking up with a murder suspect."  
  
His eyes narrowed. "If that's your attitude, then we have nothing to say to each other, Julia. I'd appreciate it if you would leave."  
  
Julia smiled slightly. "I'm here on official business."  
  
"Since when do coroners interrogate suspects?"  
  
"Since when do crime scene investigators decorate classrooms?"  
  
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Julia," he said quietly. Natalie noticed his right hand adjusting the watch that had been a gift from Dawn that last Christmas.  
  
"I wanted to ask Ms. Jensen if she knew about Mr. Carlyle's drug habits."  
  
"Drug habits? Josh wasn't a user. He couldn't be."  
  
"You sound so sure, Ms. Jensen."  
  
Natalie frowned at Julia. "Our teaching contracts with the school give the Board permission to do random drug testing, even when school is not in session. They ran a test last month on some of us."  
  
"I take it you were included in that last group?" Julia asked.  
  
"Yes, and the one before it," she said with a shrug. "When they say random, they mean it. You could go a year without testing, or they could test you every two weeks for six months. If they find anything, you're gone. They dismissed someone from the high school last year for failing the test. The Board of Trustees is very strict."  
  
"How do you find out about these tests?"  
  
"Usually, I get a phone call about an hour before I have to be at the lab they use. If school is in session, they often grab us in the lounge and hand us a cup."  
  
"And here I thought Las Vegas was bad in their testing," Gil quipped.  
  
Natalie smiled at him. "They're really just looking out for the kids, Gil. Drugged out teachers can and have done a lot of damage to students. And, yes," she said to cut off Julia, "they are saving their own asses as well. A drugged out teacher can equal major lawsuit and the state education board shutting us down."  
  
"So, what your telling me is that the school would have dismissed Mr. Carlyle if a drug test turned up positive."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Which is interesting, because I found the remnants of heroin in his system, along with a needle mark on his body."  
  
Natalie stared at Julia.  
  
"Have you ever used a syringe, Ms. Jensen?"  
  
Gil stepped forward, but Natalie held up a hand. "Yes, I have. My sister Dawn was on medication for the last few months of her life, medication that had to be administered by injection. I often gave her the injections."  
  
"Anyone who can confirm that?"  
  
"I can," Gil said.  
  
"Oh yes, Detective Martin mentioned that you claimed to be the sister's fiancé."  
  
Gil clenched his fists at Julia's mocking tone. Natalie narrowed her eyes.  
  
"Gil was engaged to marry my sister, Doctor Raven. If you don't believe us, talk to Dr. Wagner at Desert Palm Hospital in Las Vegas."  
  
"Or Father McGrath at St. Cecelia's Church in Las Vegas. He was going to marry us."  
  
"You were going to get married in the Church?"  
  
"Dawn wanted it."  
  
"She was Catholic?"  
  
"I don't think prying into Gil's personal life is a vital part of your investigation, Dr. Raven," Natalie said with blatant hostility. "But for your information, my sister and I were raised Methodist. Dawn wanted to get married in the Catholic Church because Gil was Catholic. Now, if you would excuse us, I have to finish getting my room ready for classes next week." She turned her back on Julia and began stapling a border to the bulletin board.  
  
Julia looked at Gil, who was smiling slightly as he watched Natalie. He looked back at Julia, the smile disappearing. "I think you've got enough information to give to Detective Martin, Dr. Raven." He sat back down at the desk and continued to write, ignoring his sister's presence. Julia looked at him, her face softening like she wanted to say something. But he never looked up, and she finally shrugged.  
  
"We'll be in touch," she said before she left. 


	2. Chapter 2

Relativity - by kyrdwyn  
  
Rated: R - adult themes, etc.  
  
Spoilers: none to the series  
  
Synopsis: Gil gets a call from an old friend that causes him to confront someone from his past.  
  
Disclaimer: I own all original characters in the story. Gil and the CSI crew are the property of Anthony Zuiker, Alliance Atlantis, other companies, and the actors who bring them to life.  
  
Feedback is welcome and appreciated.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
It was after midnight, and Gil couldn't sleep. His body thought it was time for him to be working. So he was down in Natalie's living room, flipping though channels, the television volume on mute.  
  
It had been ten years since he had seen his sister last. That had been at their mother's funeral in Santa Monica. Though they had sat next to each other, they had been miles apart. Neither Gil nor Julia wanted to bring up the past. That would have meant talking about their father. That was one subject both seemed to agree was best left in the past.  
  
A noise made him look up to see Natalie standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest. "Couldn't sleep?"  
  
He shook his head. "I'm normally at work," he explained.  
  
Natalie pulled the sides of her navy terrycloth robe closer together and crossed the room to sit next to him on the couch. She curled her feet up to one side. "You always watch TV on mute?"  
  
"I didn't want to wake you. Just because I can't sleep doesn't mean I should keep you awake."  
  
"Did Dawn know about Julia?"  
  
Gil sighed, knowing the question had been coming. He adjusted his watch. "She did."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Gil looked down at his hands. "I envied you and Dawn, you know. How close the two of you were. I don't know what happened between Julia and me. We were close when we were kids. She followed me around everywhere." He paused, knowing he was lying to himself and to Natalie. "No, I do know what happened. Our father had a lot to do with it."  
  
Natalie looked at him sharply. Gil had mentioned his mother a few times, but Natalie had thought his father had been dead since Gil was young.  
  
"You really don't like to talk about your past, do you, Gil?"  
  
He was silent. She could see his facial muscles moving. "Never mind, I shouldn't pry."  
  
"I'm sorry, Natalie. It's hard to talk about bad memories. Even to you, or Dawn."  
  
She leaned her head against his shoulder, and felt him tense at the unexpected touch. "I understand, Gil. It's just…I'm here, if you need me."  
  
He moved to put his arm around Natalie's shoulder. "I know. Thank you."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Julia Raven stared at the ceiling above her bed, her husband sleeping peacefully next to her. Gil's presence in Los Angeles brought up memories she thought she had been able to hide from. After their mother died, neither of them had contacted each other. They had no reason to. Julia hadn't asked him to give her away at her wedding because even thinking about calling him bothered her. Apparently, he hadn't planned on inviting her to his wedding, either.  
  
Tears trickled down her cheeks as she realized how much she had missed her older brother. How much both of them had lost because of their father, and the fact that now, fifteen years after his death, Thomas Grissom was still driving his children apart.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gil waited in the hallway while Detective Martin formally questioned Natalie about Josh Carlyle's death. The blonde woman had appeared on Natalie's doorstep early that morning, and had requested Natalie come with her. Gil had followed in his car, refusing to let Natalie go alone. He might not be able to be in there with her, but he felt better staying near her for support. He knew, in his heart, Natalie was innocent.  
  
"I spoke to Dr. Wagner at Desert Palm and Father McGrath at St. Cecelia's. They both confirmed that Dawn Jensen was your fiancée, and that she passed away before you were married. I'm sorry, Gil."  
  
He spun around at Julia's voice. She was standing a few feet behind him, in blue surgical scrubs. Her eyes were averted, looking anywhere but him.  
  
"Sorry for what, Julia? Prying into the personal life of an innocent woman?"  
  
"I was doing my job, Gil. How often do you pry into the personal lives of innocent people in your job? More often than I do, I'll bet." She looked at him now, her eyes angry. "You and I both know this job is about the evidence. Josh Carlyle was found in Natalie Jensen's classroom. He was known for asking her out on several occasions, making a nuisance of himself, despite his marriage. It's not unknown for women to dispose of men who are constantly harassing them."  
  
"And it's not unknown for killers to frame an innocent person to avoid getting caught for the crime. I'd say the real killer probably knew about Carlyle's crush on Natalie."  
  
"Or Natalie knew we would think that way. After all, in her own classroom her fingerprints and hairs and epithelials would not be unusual. She could have picked up that information from you. The two of you are obviously close." Julia took a step back as Gil turned and looked at her, his eyes angry.  
  
"Yes, we are close. But do you honestly think I would try to defend a killer, Julia?"  
  
"You were engaged to her sister - I think that could blind you to the truth."  
  
"Or you're just letting our problems blind you."  
  
The door behind them opened and Detective Martin and Natalie came out to find the two Grissom siblings glaring at each other. Gayle cleared her throat. "Ms. Jensen is free to go, for now."  
  
Gil turned and nodded at Natalie. "Ready to go?"  
  
She looked from Gil to Julia and back. "Yeah." She started toward Gil, surprised when he held out his hand for her to take. But she slipped her hand into his, needing his support and strength after an hour of trying to convince a cynical detective of her innocence. She would have had an easier time trying to teach her second graders to perform Shakespeare.  
  
In the car, Gil didn't say anything. Natalie stared out the window. When they got to her house, Natalie went upstairs to her room, curling up on her bed. She really missed her sister right now. Gil was wonderful, dropping his job and coming to her side when they hadn't spoken in a year, mostly because their lives had diverged after Dawn's death. But Natalie missed her sister's warmth and sense of humor. Most of all, she missed her sister's touch. Dawn had been what their mother called a "hugger". It was natural for her to hug people, to put even one arm around them and provide the human contact that could be so necessary. She had curbed that inclination while teaching, but had always dropped that restraint around Natalie and Gil. Even at the end, when she'd been too weak to even breathe on her own, she'd managed to grab Natalie and Gil's hands for one last, loving, hold.  
  
That was what Natalie needed now. Someone to hold her, to reassure her without words that it was okay. But Gil either didn't see that need or couldn't act upon it. Natalie suspected the latter. Something in his past made him shy away from physical contact. Even with Dawn, he'd always been a little hesitant at times. By the time Natalie had met him, he'd gotten used to Dawn's ways. But he'd reverted back into his old ways since her death. Even the other night, when he'd put his arm around her, she could tell it was more of a mechanical response than true feeling. Still, it had surprised her how much she had needed even that little connection with him.  
  
Gil stood outside Natalie's door. He had his hand raised to knock, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Not for the first time, he keenly felt Dawn's absence. She would be able to reassure her sister, to comfort her. The first time he'd met Dawn, she had been comforting the child of a victim, a neighbor who had been killed. When talking her to, she'd reached out to cover his hand with her own, begging him to find the killer. He'd been startled by the touch. When they solved the case, he had personally gone to tell Dawn, who had thrown her arms around him in gratitude.  
  
He had been intrigued by Dawn's open nature, so when she invited him in for coffee, he'd accepted. Finding out she was a science teacher in a public high school had given them common ground for the rest of the conversation. Coffee in her apartment had led to an invitation to speak to her students and dinner afterward, and a relationship where she had accepted his reluctance and hesitancy and given him room when he needed it and closeness when he was ready for it.  
  
He leaned a hand against Natalie's doorframe. Dawn's illness, diagnosed three months after he asked her to marry him, had shaken him worse than his mother's death in a car accident. Watching her slip slowly away from him day after day, knowing this was something he couldn't fight for her, couldn't find the villain who had done this to her because there wasn't a human villain, had been sheer hell. Hell that was hidden for Dawn's sake. She was fighting her own emotional battle against her illness. She didn't need his problems as well.  
  
Natalie had taken a leave of absence from her school to come to Vegas and help Gil when Dawn's illness had advanced to the point where he couldn't take care of her alone. Dawn hadn't wanted to be hospitalized until there was absolutely no choice. So Natalie moved in with them, and she and Gil had taken care of Dawn until the end.  
  
Gil sighed, pushing open the door. Natalie had been there for him when Dawn was ill - holding his hand, listening when he railed at the unfairness of life. She'd held him when he'd cried the night Dawn had gone into the hospital for the last time. He owed Natalie so much, yet he couldn't bring himself to give her even the slightest touch of reassurance. He looked into Natalie's room. She was curled up on the bed, her back to the door. He sighed quietly. Dawn would have curled up on the bed next to Natalie and put her arms around her. He sat down on the edge of the bed and awkwardly rubbed her arm. He wished he could do more for her. But he couldn't.  
  
Natalie felt his hand on her arm, and tears filled her eyes. It wasn't the comforting she wanted, but she knew it was all he was prepared to give right now. And she was grateful for that.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So, the crime scene unit found something interesting in Natalie Jensen's classroom."  
  
Julia looked up at Gayle. "Let me guess - hairs and fibers that weren't Natalie Jensen's, Josh Carlyle's, or Gina Carlyle's?"  
  
"You knew and didn't tell me?"  
  
"I just found out - the lab sent me the results on the hairs and epithelials found on the body." Julia held up the manila folder. "None belonging to Natalie Jensen, a few belonging to Gina Carlyle, and a ton of unknowns."  
  
"Not unknown anymore - they belong to another teacher at the school - Richard Swenson. He's the physical education and health education teacher. Has his own classroom at the other end of the school. According to some of the other teachers, Swenson and Carlyle were at odds over Carlyle hitting on Swenson's wife."  
  
"Carlyle got around."  
  
Gayle smiled. "I talked to Leticia Swenson. She admits to having an affair with Carlyle. And to her husband walking in on them in flagrante delicto."  
  
"So he killed him?"  
  
"Looks like it. He doesn't have an alibi. I'm bringing him in, but I thought you would want to know. Hey - what did you find out on the Grissom guy?"  
  
Julia kept her face neutral. "He is what he says he is - forensic scientist in Las Vegas. David told me he runs the night shift up there. Tends to get into trouble with his boss because he puts bodies before politics, but he's a good guy. Apparently, no one knows why he's in LA - he called one of his shift members and told them he had personal business."  
  
"So he dropped everything to come down here for this girl? Does this guy have a brother?" Gayle asked, only half-kidding. Julia glared at the woman over her glasses and Gayle relented. "Seriously, he says he's engaged to the sister, but doesn't bring the sister with him? He's staying at her house? Sounds awfully convenient to me. Either he's involved with her romantically or she hired him as a defensive maneuver."  
  
Julia sighed. "I went and spoke with him, and spoke with some other people in Las Vegas. He was engaged to Ms. Jensen's sister three years ago, before she died."  
  
"The fiancée died, and he still keeps in touch with her sister? Gotta wonder about that relationship."  
  
"Geez, Gayle, stop being so cynical all the time."  
  
"Can't help it. I'm a cop."  
  
Julia laughed and made shooing motions with her hands. "Go pick up your new suspect."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gil opened his eyes and frowned at the unfamiliar ceiling. His mind was still foggy with sleep, and he couldn't remember where he was or why he had fallen asleep fully dressed. He could feel the presence of another person in the bed with him. Rolling onto his side, he saw who it was and smiled.  
  
He reached out to stroke her hair and cheek. She was as beautiful to him now as the first time he'd seen her. He'd had to hide his reaction because of his job, but she had looked perfect to him. She still was perfect.  
  
He leaned over to kiss her awake, dropping a few butterfly kisses onto her eyelids and the tip of her nose before pressing his lips against hers. It took a few seconds for the kiss to wake her up, because she was hesitant in responding to him. They spent several moments lost in the kiss before he had to break it off to breathe.  
  
She smiled as she opened her eyes. Green eyes. The shock jolted Gil fully awake. Dawn's eyes were the blue of a midsummer sky. Natalie's eyes matched the color of a pine forest. Dawn's eyes had closed for the last time three years ago. Natalie's were looking at him now in surprise.  
  
There was a long moment where the two of them stared at each other, both trying to absorb what had happened. Gil couldn't believe what he'd done. This was Natalie, one of his best friends, his lover's sister.  
  
"Nat…I…I'm sorry." Gil rolled away from her and off the bed, practically bolting out of the room. He stopped in his room for shoes and keys and retreated to the refuge of his car and mindless driving.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Several hours later, Natalie opened the door to find Julia Raven on her doorstep. "What can I do for you, Dr. Raven?"  
  
"Is Gil here?"  
  
"No, he's out at the moment."  
  
"May I come in?"  
  
"That depends on what you want."  
  
"Just to talk. Detective Martin arrested Richard Swenson for Josh Carlyle's murder yesterday, and he confessed."  
  
Natalie blinked in astonishment. "Good Lord, I would never have guess that Richard….why?"  
  
"Josh and Leticia."  
  
Natalie's mouth quirked. "That does explain it."  
  
The two women stood there. Natalie wasn't moving an inch.  
  
"Ms. Jensen, I really would like to talk to my brother."  
  
"Are you so sure he wants to talk to you?"  
  
Julia sighed. "No, I'm not."  
  
"Then why are you here?"  
  
"Why are you so protective of him?" Julia countered.  
  
"Because he's my friend and almost my brother and I don't want to see him hurt any more than he has been in the past few years."  
  
Julia paused. "I'm not here to hurt him, Ms. Jensen," she said quietly.  
  
Natalie sighed. "Come on in, Dr. Raven."  
  
Julia entered the hall and followed Natalie back to the kitchen. Natalie had apparently been cooking when Julia rang the bell. "Can I get you something to drink?"  
  
"No, thank you. Whatever you are cooking smells good."  
  
Natalie smiled. "Thank you. I'm making chili for Gil. As a 'thank you' for coming down." And as an apology, but she wasn't going to tell Julia that.  
  
"Chili? I didn't know Gil liked chili." Julia suddenly realized this young woman knew more about her brother than she did.  
  
"He does. My sister used to make it for him all the time."  
  
"You must think it odd, that he and I never speak."  
  
Natalie turned from the stove to look at the brunette woman. "I didn't know you existed until you showed up in my classroom."  
  
Julia's eyebrows went up. "You've known him for how long and he never said anything about me? Wasn't he almost your brother-in-law?"  
  
"Yes, and that means if he spoke to anyone about his past, it was my sister. And she wouldn't tell me because it was none of my business."  
  
Julia looked down at the kitchen table, then back up at the redhead. "Tell me about your sister?"  
  
"Why?" Natalie asked quietly, seeing not her sister but the scene in her bedroom that morning.  
  
"Because she was apparently almost my sister-in-law, and I never knew my brother was getting married."  
  
"Have you told Gil that you got married and had a daughter?"  
  
"How did you know I have a daughter?" Julia was concerned that Natalie Jensen knew so much about her.  
  
"Your daughter Marissa is going to be one of my students this year. I always check student files before the year starts. You and your husband's occupations are listed. I doubt there is more than one Julia Raven working in the coroner's office."  
  
"I hadn't had time to look at the announcement from the school telling us who Marissa's teacher was going to be."  
  
Natalie shrugged. "If you're worried you can ask to have her transferred to Marsha Jordan's classroom. I'm sure Dean Montgomery would understand the conflict - daughter of coroner in a class taught by a murder suspect," Natalie said wryly.  
  
"I don't think that will be necessary."  
  
Natalie nodded, secretly relieved. She hated to lose students, especially because of something she couldn't control - like this case.  
  
The sound of the front door closing made both women look toward the door. Gil was back.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Gil had driven for hours before deciding he needed to talk to Natalie. On the way back to her house, he stopped at a mall. He knew, from experience, that Natalie wasn't the type to be won over by flowers. The last time he and Dawn had visited Natalie, her boyfriend had brought flowers over as an apology for an argument. Natalie had gotten mad. She'd explained later that, to her, flowers were a guy's way of saying he didn't care enough for her to try to find something more unique - specific to a woman's personality. Gil had been amused, and so had Dawn when he'd not brought home flowers after their next argument, but a book he had noticed her eyeing. She'd cried, then kissed him, and they'd made up passionately.  
  
It took him five stores in the mall before he found what he wanted. He drove home, hoping that he could patch things up. He was in the front hallway when he smelled the chili. His stomach rumbled at the scent - it was the Jensen family recipe. Dawn had often made it for him. Natalie was making it now.  
  
Just then Julia's voice came from the direction of the kitchen. Gil frowned - what was she doing here? Was she questioning Natalie again? He hurried forward to find his sister sitting at the kitchen table and Natalie at the stove. Both women were watching the doorway. Gil glanced at Julia. She was in jeans and a top. The LAPD jacket was nowhere in sight.  
  
"Julia. What are you doing here?"  
  
Julia sighed inwardly, hearing the older brother tone in Gil's voice. He was very protective of Natalie. Julia missed having that tone in her own life.  
  
"I came to tell Ms. Jensen that Mr. Carlyle's murderer has been caught, and he confessed."  
  
Gil glanced at Natalie and she nodded. "One of my colleagues wasn't too happy to find Josh boinking his wife."  
  
"So he killed the lover. Hmm. I wonder how long it would have taken before he killed his wife for having the affair," Gil mused absently. Julia's jaw dropped.  
  
"Gil!" Natalie reproved with a smile. "You just can't leave anything alone, can you?"  
  
He shrugged, happy to see her smile. The movement revealed the bag he'd tried to keep hidden.  
  
"I'd've never figured you for the music box type, Gil," Julia commented.  
  
Natalie looked at the bag, then back at Gil. He saw the understanding appear in her green eyes, along with something that looked like guilt as she glanced at the stove.  
  
Julia caught the looks between the two of them. Though she, like Gil, was more comfortable among the dead, she still was able to catch the emotions that ran though the living. And right now, she could see that Gil and Natalie had something they needed to talk about. There was guilt in her brother's eyes.  
  
She pulled out her business card and wrote her home number on the back. She got up from the table and handed it to Gil. He looked at it with surprise.  
  
"Please, call me before you go back to Las Vegas, Gil. I would really like to talk to you," she said, her blue eyes pleading. Gil nodded, and Julia turned to leave. Natalie followed her to the front door and stopped Julia before she left.  
  
"I'll do my best to get him to call you," she said quietly. Julia looked at her with surprise, but nodded her thanks.  
  
Natalie sighed as she watched Julia drive off. She headed back to the kitchen and found Gil at the stove. She shook her head, seeing the spoon in his hand and the expression on his face. He looked like a little kid with his hand in the cookie jar.  
  
"So what makes you think I'm angry?" she asked.  
  
Gil looked at her, guilt in his eyes. "After this morning?"  
  
Natalie sighed. "Oh, Gil. I'm not angry." She moved over to the kitchen table and the bag. She pulled out the store box inside and looked at him. "But since you thought I was, why did you think a music box would help me to forgive you?"  
  
"Open it," he said quietly.  
  
She opened the cardboard to find a wooden music box. She looked up at Gil in surprise, and lifted the lid. The mechanism began to play, and tears came to Natalie's eyes at the choice of music.  
  
"For a man who claims to be a science geek, you sure know how to charm a woman," she said quietly.  
  
He shrugged. "I know how much you like that song."  
  
"It was something between me and Dawn, with her being in Vegas," she replied softly. She sighed and closed the lid, cutting off the notes of 'Somewhere Out There'.  
  
"Natalie, I'm sorry."  
  
She cut him off. "I know. You didn't mean to kiss me. You thought I was Dawn." She couldn't hide the hurt in her voice. "I'm not mad, Gil. We both see each other as the last connection to Dawn. Frankly, I've been expecting something like this, given how neither of us wants to let go of her. I'm just hurt because I had hoped when it happened you would have known it was me you were kissing, not my sister. I'm tired of this, Gil."  
  
She turned away from him, determined not to let him see the tears in her eyes. "Have you ever looked at me, seen me as Natalie Jensen, Gil? I don't think you have. I was Dawn's little sister - a friend but not too close. Now I'm just a substitute for Dawn. The way I've apparently been a substitute for Julia. I've never been Natalie Jensen, friend to Gil Grissom. And I'm tired of it. I love you, Gil. You're one of my best friends. But I can't hold up this relationship on my own. I can't be a chameleon for you - changing who I am to fit what you need, and hiding my own needs. I can't be Dawn for you because she's gone. And I know she wouldn't want you to hold on to her like this. She loved you, Gil. You made her happier than I'd ever seen her. She would want you to be happy now. But you're stuck in the past, using me to hold onto her. God knows, I wish she were still around, Gil.  
  
"I can't be Julia for you either. It's one thing to have you treat me like a little sister when I thought you were an only child. I could understand that natural impulse - I see it in some of my students. But you have a sister, Gil. One who lives 5 hours away from you and is now reaching out to you. How much of each other's lives have you missed in your estrangement? You didn't know she got married. She didn't know about Dawn. I don't know what happened between you, but she's still your sister. God, I'd give anything to have…"  
  
Natalie broke off and started sobbing, her entire body shaking. Gil's heart broke. Her crying sounded like it was an old friend to her. How many nights had she lain awake, crying for her sister? Too many nights, he knew. He had rarely cried, but he knew everyone one of those sleepless nights himself.  
  
He couldn't leave her like this, so he broke one of his own rules, buried a lifetime of old scars, and reached out to Natalie, pulling her against him and letting her cry. After a while, tears started to slip down his cheeks. 


	3. Chapter 3

Relativity - by kyrdwyn  
  
Rated: R - adult themes, etc.  
  
Spoilers: none to the series  
  
Synopsis: Gil gets a call from an old friend that causes him to confront someone from his past.  
  
Disclaimer: I own all original characters in the story. Gil and the CSI crew are the property of Anthony Zuiker, Alliance Atlantis, other companies, and the actors who bring them to life.  
  
Feedback is welcome and appreciated.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
A young girl, her blonde hair glistening in the Los Angeles sunlight, was outside the white ranch style house. She had a butterfly net in her hands and was examining something inside it. She looked up when the SUV pulled into the driveway, her face never changing from the intensely curious expression.  
  
Gil stepped out of the car and smiled at the girl. She didn't smile back, clearly hearing in her mind the parental warnings of "never talk to strangers." He hesitated, not wanting to be rude to the child, but not wanting to put her into a dilemma.  
  
He was about to inquire if this was the Raven house when the door opened and Julia came racing out, followed by a man with the child's blonde hair. His brother-in-law, he surmised from the way he grabbed Julia and pulled her to him to kiss her. Gil was shocked by the open display of affection between them.  
  
The little girl tugged at Julia's blouse and when Julia looked down, she pointed toward Gil. Both adults turned to look and shock crossed Julia's face. "Gil?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"I should have called first," he said hesitantly, apologetically. Julia stepped away from the man and shook her head.  
  
"No. No! I'm glad you came," she said. She pushed her hair behind her ears and glanced around the yard, looking as uncertain as he felt. The man next to her touched her arm. She smiled at him.  
  
"Gil, I'd like you to meet my husband Stephen Raven. Stephen, this is my older brother Gil."  
  
Julia was using sign language to communicate with her husband. Gil quirked an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Stephen stepped forward to offer his hand and Gil took it, liking Julia's husband on sight. "Nice to meet you," Gil said and signed.  
  
Julia drew the little girl to her side. "This is our daughter, Marissa. Marissa, this is your uncle Gil."  
  
The girl smiled shyly at him. He smiled back. Stephen nudged Julia. Why don't I take Marissa to the store with me and let you and your brother talk? He signed.  
  
Julia nodded. Gil watched her kiss her husband and child, the latter waving at Gil. He waved back. When they were gone, he turned to Julia. She saw the look in his eyes and knew what he was going to say.  
  
"She looks almost exactly like Mom." He said it softly.  
  
Julia nodded. "She does. But she has your interest in bugs," she added with a grimace.  
  
He smiled wryly. "I bet you love that."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah. Like I loved the bugs you would dine with at the breakfast table and the spider you put in my bed that one time."  
  
"Shouldn't have criticized my choice of names for my spider."  
  
"Only because you wouldn't name it Charlotte. Why was that?"  
  
"Because you suggested it."  
  
"That's not a good reason."  
  
"It is when you're fourteen."  
  
"And your pesky little sister wants you to name a spider after her favorite book?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
Julia smiled. "Come on in, Gil."  
  
He followed her into the house, noticing that it was as nearly immaculate as his was. She led him into the kitchen. He accepted her offer of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. She took the seat opposite him, the table a barrier between them.  
  
"That was the last time I can remember you doing something like that," Julia remarked.  
  
Gil winced. "Dad…wasn't amused by the spider bit."  
  
Julia paused with her cup halfway to her mouth. "He didn't…." she said softly, questioningly. Gil nodded, not looking at her. He winced from the phantom pain that crawled across his skin.  
  
Julia saw the wince and shuddered in sympathy. Thomas Grissom had been a hard man. He had not tolerated deviance from his expectations. Rebellion was either physically or emotionally smacked down. Gil, being the son, had gotten more of the physical punishments than Julia had. But the depth of psychological cruelty had been vicious enough to scar both of them in a way the physical couldn't. It had left both of them unwilling, hell - unable, to form the kind of emotional bonds that most siblings had. And caused them to equate love with their father's behavior. It was the same with physical contact. Or so Julia's therapist had told her. After Mary Grissom's death, Julia had needed someone to talk to. Gil wouldn't talk to her at all, and she and Stephen had just started dating. She couldn't burden him with her problems. Not then.  
  
Julia looked down at her coffee. Thomas Grissom's only saving grace, in her opinion, was that he had adored and worshiped his wife. He'd never raised a hand to her, never yelled at her - in speech or in sign. To his children, it seemed like he reserved all his love for his wife and thought Gil and Julia were nothing more than programmable robots. He was stingy any sort of display of affection for them. Gil had used his natural curiosity and desire to learn as a way to gain his father's approval. Thomas Grissom had been thrilled with his son's academic performance and encouraged him to greater achievements. It had been the only sort of paternal affection Gil had gotten. When Julia had been born, Gil had been seven years old, already ahead of most of his classmates. He'd even been on his way to blowing up the house a few times - much to his father's delight. He would brag to his friends about how smart his son was. Those friends never saw the depth of cruelty used to encourage that intelligence.  
  
Julia had been a lot different than Gil. She had the same curiosity and the desire to learn, but her gifts lay in areas other than academics. She had good grades, but not the same as her brother. Their father constantly compared the two of them to Julia's detriment, in the hopes of spurring Julia on. As starved for paternal affection as Gil had been, Julia initially threw herself into her studies and tried to measure up. But eventually, when studying more didn't bring home the grades that would please their father, Julia stopped trying to measure up and rebelled. She let her studies go, though she never got anything below a C. She participated in non-academic after school activities like drama and soccer - which drove Thomas Grissom nuts. He tried to cut off her activities, refusing to sign the permission slips. Mary had signed them instead, and he couldn't bring himself to go against his wife. Instead, he'd belittled Julia's athletic and artistic achievements every chance he got. Thomas Grissom had wanted two academically brilliant children. He had seen Julia's activities as 'fun and games' - something that had no place in his world. Her high school soccer team won the State Championship two years in a row and father never congratulated her. He was glad the season was over so Julia could return to her studies and bring her grades back up to Gil's level.  
  
Even affection between his children was frowned upon. Thomas Grissom hadn't approved of natural sibling teasing and quarrels. Julia had known that their father had gone ballistic over Gil putting a spider in Julia's bed. It wasn't a dangerous one - Gil was smarter than that. Still, the public upbraiding Gil had gotten left a lasting impression on both children. It was only now, thirty-three years afterward, that Julia discovered Gil had been beaten for the prank. He had never said a word to her. Julia would bet her medical degree on their mother not knowing either.  
  
"God, dad was a bastard."  
  
Gil's head snapped up and he looked at her with shock. "Julia…."  
  
"What? Oh come on, Gil. Don't tell me you never thought of him in those terms. He deliberately tried to mold the two of us into the perfect children - his perfect children. You know what? It appears to have worked with you. Yes, you're brilliant and accomplished and you have a Ph.D. You also have no life outside your job, no human connections. Except for Dawn," she said quietly. "If you were anything like me, falling in love scared you half to death because you were afraid of turning into dad. The entire time I was pregnant with Marissa, I worried. I remembered all my fears and I didn't want to inflict that on my children. I wanted them to grow up loved, wanted, and be individuals."  
  
"Marissa looks very happy, Julia."  
  
She smiled, a very satisfied maternal smile. "Neither Stephen nor I had a happy childhood, and we wanted to avoid the same mistakes with Marissa. Hearing you say she looks happy, well, that means a lot."  
  
Gil nodded, sipping at his coffee. Julia set her cup down and studied him. He hadn't changed all that much in the past ten years, except for the eyes. They had always been guarded, hiding what he was thinking. The glasses he now wore reinforced that aloofness, but Julia could see the pain that flickered through the depths.  
  
"Dawn must have been special," Julia commented, inviting Gil to talk about her.  
  
He nodded. "She was."  
  
Julia waited, but her brother stayed silent. She sighed. "Gil, why did you come here?"  
  
He looked up at her in surprise. "You said we needed to talk, Julia."  
  
"Emphasis on the we, Gil. It's been ten years since you and I spoke. Even then it was more like an argument. I don't want us to go through another ten years of not knowing what's happening in each other's lives. Did you know," she asked him, tilting her head, "that if anything were to happen to Stephen or me, you would become Marissa's guardian? His family is more messed up than ours was. We couldn't imagine one of them trying to raise her."  
  
"Julia…"  
  
"I know. You can't imagine trying to raise her either. But I think you would make a good father, Gil. And I can honestly say I think Marissa would be happier with you."  
  
He was quiet for a moment. "Thank you."  
  
"We've lost so much time, Gil. Dad really screwed us up to the point where we couldn't even go to each other for help. When mom died, I wanted nothing more than to talk to you, but I couldn't get past those barriers. I hated you for so long, because I couldn't live up to your brilliance, and Dad never wasted an opportunity to tell me."  
  
Gil frowned. "I hated you for not trying to, for leaving me to take Dad's anger." He shifted in his seat, feeling the heavy hand of his father against his skin. It was part of the reason he always wore long sleeves. He'd had to in high school, to hide the bruises. He wore them now when his nightmares caused him to awaken thinking the purple marks of his father's "affection" were still there.  
  
"Whatever's happened in the past, whatever we felt about each other then, we're all we have left of our family, Gil." Julia's soft, tearful voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up to find her watching him. "I never asked you to my wedding or to Marissa's christening. Family moments - you should have been there to give me away, to act at Marissa's godfather. But I couldn't pick up the phone to call you. You lost the woman you wanted to marry, and I couldn't be there to help you, to offer what solace I could." Tears were running down Julia's cheeks as she spoke. "I don't want to miss anymore. My biggest fear is hearing through the coroner's grapevine that a CSI in Las Vegas was killed, and finding out that CSI was you. I don't want to be left with 'what ifs' and 'if only's' and guilt over not reaching out to you sooner. I can't image you want that either."  
  
Julia grabbed a napkin from the holder and wiped her cheeks. Gil remained silent, her words still echoing. She was right; he didn't want that. After Dawn's death, he had thought about calling Julia many times, especially during those sleepless nights. He could not bring himself to pick up the phone, no matter how much he longed to hear his sister's voice.  
  
Julia suddenly reached out and grabbed Gil's hand. He looked at her in surprise. She appeared to be taken aback by her action as well. The last time he could remember Julia touching him was at his high school graduation, a quick hug after the ceremony. Even at their mother's funeral, they hadn't comforted each other with a hug or even a handclasp.  
  
"I don't want to lose you again. I know we can't overcome thirty years of hell in a few minutes, but we can at least make a start? Please?"  
  
Gil looked at her. He nodded, and Julia gave a small smile. He smiled back.  
  
Julia pulled her hand away and poured more coffee for both of them. "I guess, older brother, that you would like the run down on my husband."  
  
The corner of Gil's mouth quirked in a small smile. "You know me, always curious."  
  
Julia smiled and was about to start talking when the doorbell rang. "Excuse me," she said, getting up and leaving the room. Gil sat back and sipped at his coffee, looking around the cheerful room. The walls were pale yellow with a flowery border. Papers on the refrigerator caught his eye, and he got up to take a closer look at the childlike artwork. Marissa's drawings were prominently displayed, and while the renderings lacked fine details, they were full of imagination - dragons and unicorns, birds and bugs, and one of two adult stick figures and a child stick figure in front of a house.  
  
"Gayle, I believe you've already met Gil Grissom." Julia's voice sounded behind him, and Gil turned to see her leading Detective Martin into the kitchen. She looked surprised at seeing the Las Vegas CSI in Julia's kitchen.  
  
"Well isn't this cozy?" she asked.  
  
Gil raised an eyebrow as he straightened from his examination of the artwork. "Cozy?" he inquired.  
  
"LA Medical Examiner, Las Vegas CSI having coffee? Get tired of your schoolteacher?"  
  
"Can it, Gayle. He's my brother."  
  
"You don't have a brother, Julia."  
  
"Yes, I do. I just never talk about him. Now what's so important that you feel the need to drop by on my day off?"  
  
Gayle looked from Julia to Gil. "Wait a second. You never told me he was your brother when I asked you to look into his background."  
  
Gil looked over at Julia with amusement. "Oh?"  
  
Julia shrugged. "Coroner grapevine."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"So, Gayle, business?"  
  
The detective looked like she wanted to say something more, but moved on to the reason for her visit. "I was typing all this up for the D.A. Found a problem in Swenson's confession - he lied."  
  
Both Gil and Julia looked stunned. Julia snatched the folder out of Gayle's hands. "What do you mean - lied?"  
  
"Swenson told me that he suffocated Carlyle before dragging him into Jensen's classroom."  
  
"Carlyle died from a heroin overdose," Julia said absently as she read the statement.  
  
"Exactly. I didn't have your full post-mortem when he confessed, so I took it at face value. So why did he confess?"  
  
"Perhaps to protect someone else?" Gil mused from where he was pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee.  
  
Gayle shot him a look. "I don't recall asking for your opinion, Mr. Grissom."  
  
"Still, he's right. He could be covering for someone else."  
  
"Okay, I'll bite. So, any ideas, Mr. Grissom?"  
  
"Well," he said, sitting down at the table near the two women, "from what Julia said, Swenson claimed to have killed Carlyle because the latter was having an affair with Swenson's wife. It's possible that he's covering for his wife."  
  
Gayle tilted her head to one side. "I don't buy it. His wife was cheating on him, she kills her lover, and he covers for her?"  
  
Julia shrugged. "It's not like we haven't seen it before, Gayle."  
  
The detective shook her head. "I don't know. I talked to the wife. She seemed upset that her lover was dead."  
  
"No offense, Detective, but I have seen some very good liars in interrogation rooms," Gil pointed out. "And there are other suspects. Carlyle's wife, for instance."  
  
"Why would Swenson cover for her?" Julia asked. "Unless you're saying the school is Melrose Place and he was sleeping with Carlyle's wife?"  
  
Gil looked from Julia to Gayle, his eyebrows furrowed. "Melrose what?"  
  
Both women looked at him, then at each other and chuckled. "Never mind, Gil," Julia said. "Basically, we're expressing our disbelief at such a love quadrangle."  
  
Gil leaned forward, frowning. "Why is it so unbelievable? Husband cheats on wife. Wife wants revenge - so she cheats, and finds a sympathetic lover in the other wronged spouse."  
  
Gayle leaned back and looked at Gil. "When you put it that way, it does sound plausible. And we can't verify Gina Carlyle's alibi. She claims to have been shopping, but there are no credit card receipts. I had a few cops check the stores she says she was at, no one remembers her. At least Ms. Jensen had a better story than that."  
  
Gil stopped with his coffee mug almost at his mouth. He peered over the rim at Detective Martin, eyebrow quirked. His eyes were challenging almost. Gayle returned the stare calmly. Julia stirred her coffee and waited for someone to break the stare. The tension between the two was thick.  
  
Finally Gayle shrugged and looked away. "Natalie Jensen's story was also verifiable, at least the part about the salesman in the paint department."  
  
Gil relaxed a little. So did Julia.  
  
"Was Carlyle killed in the classroom?"  
  
Julia shook her head at Gil's question. "No, he was killed elsewhere and dragged into the classroom." She looked at Gayle. "Did you ever find out where he was killed?"  
  
"No," she said slowly. "Checked the entire school. Someone either cleaned up really good or we missed it." Gayle pulled out her cell phone and started dialing.  
  
Julia turned to Gil. "I hate to say this, Gil, but if this is turning into an official inquiry…well, with you being Natalie's friend…" she let her voice trail off.  
  
Gil understood. His involvement was already on the line of 'interference', and anything more would look bad for Natalie. He got up, Julia rising as well. She walked him to the front door. He stopped before leaving, pulling his own business card out of his wallet. "Here. Work is the best place to reach me." He hesitated like he wanted to say more, then leaned down to kiss Julia on the cheek, startling them both. "Let's keep in touch. To hell with the old man," he added with a smile tracing across his lips.  
  
Julia smiled back, waiting until Gil was in his car and out of sight before closing her front door. She held the card he had given her clutched tightly in her hand.  
  
* * * * *  
  
He hadn't been here in three years. Not since watching the groundskeepers lower the casket into the ground and begin replacing the soil. The cemetery was quiet, peaceful. Rows of flat plates marked where friends and loved ones lay. Bouquets of flowers were placed near some, reflecting visits.  
  
Flowers were in front of Dawn's marker. Natalie must have been by recently. Gil sat down on the grass and traced the writing with a finger. Each letter of her name was given attention. He ran the side of his thumb over her last name. It was the wrong name, to him. It should read Dawn Marie Grissom.  
  
The diagnosis had come three months into their engagement. They had been planning the wedding - meeting with the priest and settling on guests. It wasn't going to be a big ceremony - her friends and colleagues, Natalie as maid of honor, a few friends of his from the lab, one of them as best man. The wedding was a few weeks away, but Dawn hadn't been feeling well. A routine trip to the doctor found something odd. He sent Dawn to a specialist. They found cancer. Too advanced for surgery, for treatment. The doctor could barely bring himself to tell Dawn and Gil the dire prognosis. A miracle was the best they could hope for.  
  
Gil sighed. Dawn had changed that day, learning she was so ill that science could do nothing for her. Her illness had taken an emotional toll on both of them. He couldn't accept losing her to something they had no control over. It was heartbreaking to see her slip away from him, little by little.  
  
After a few weeks, there was one bad night where he'd come home to find Dawn crying over her fate. She had insisted that they call off the wedding when she realized her condition was terminal. He had reluctantly agreed, but it went against his heart. That morning, he'd tried to convince her again to marry him. Her condition didn't matter to him. He loved her. He wanted to marry her, be her husband for as long as he could. If a miracle happened, that would be a blessing. If not, so be it. When Dawn had protested that they had canceled everything, he'd reminded her they were in Las Vegas - they could marry that night. He wanted to.  
  
"God, how I wanted to marry you, Dawn," he whispered, his hand still on the marker. "I didn't care how long we had together. I love you." He felt tears start. "Why, Dawn? Why wouldn't you let me?"  
  
He knew the answer to that question, but it was one he still couldn't accept. Dawn didn't want to get married because she didn't want to make him a widower before the honeymoon was over. She thought it was selfish of her to do that. He desperately tried to convince her that he didn't care. She would smile, tell him he was sweet, but she couldn't do that to him. It became a familiar disagreement. He stopped asking when her illness progressed. The frailer she got, the more he couldn't bring himself to argue with her.  
  
Tears ran down his cheeks. God, how he missed her. Her smile, her laugh, her touch - all the little things about her he had come to depend on. The way she would light up when he walked into the house. Her little routines for grading tests - marking each separate exam and putting them into neat piles based on how many marks she had made so as to make the curve easier to determine. The way she would switch her routines during the summers to be awake when he was, and be able to sleep in his arms during the day.  
  
His tears dripped unheeded onto the ground. "I still look for you, still expect to see you in our bed when I get home. I wake up in the afternoons and listen for your footsteps. I see something in the paper and I want to share it with you. But I can't. I was there, with you, and I still can't…. I just…I need you too much, Dawn. I miss you too much…." His voice cracked and the tears flowed freely. Three years of anger, grief, and loneliness poured out of him as he sat by the woman he loved.  
  
He'd been there, in her hospital room. He'd taken her hand when she'd moved it toward him. Her eyes had been dull from the pain and the medication, but he'd still seen the spark of love in her eyes as she'd looked at him. He hadn't really been aware of Natalie being in the room. All he could see was Dawn. He'd caressed her hair, kissed her forehead, her lips. She'd turned to Natalie, and smiled at her sister. Natalie had kissed her as well. Then Dawn looked back at him. A small smile crossed her lips as she whispered I love you. He'd whispered it back. A few moments later her eyes had closed and her chest eventually went still, not rising to take another breath. Natalie had cried, but he could only stare at Dawn's body, numb. He hadn't been able to cry then, nor at her funeral, nor once in the three years since. It was like he had been in shock and denial since that moment, until this trip to Los Angeles.  
  
Eventually his tears dried up. He let the cool breeze dry his face as he whispered to her. "I'm sorry, Dawn. I felt so helpless. I couldn't save you. Couldn't do for you what I do for others every night - get justice. The only thing it seemed like I could control was marrying you. I still wish you'd have let me. I know why, but it doesn't make it any easier, love." A wedding ring and a marriage certificate would have been a poor substitute for her living, breathing, laughing presence in his life, but they would have been comfort for those long, sleepless nights when he wondered if she had just been a dream. When he missed her so much he doubted his own sanity.  
  
He sighed. "Your sister's right. It's been hard for me to see her as her. Because I can't let go of you." His voice dropped. "But maybe I have to. Maybe I need to move forward. You always wanted me to get in touch with Julia. We've made a start. We can't erase the past, but maybe we can find something close to common ground. And maybe then I can stop hurting Natalie so much."  
  
For long moments he sat there, lost in thought. Memories of the past and hopes for the future swirled around him idly. Finally he kissed the tips of his fingers and pressed them to the marker in benediction.  
  
"I love you, Dawn."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Natalie was upside down when Gil walked into the living room. He stopped, turning his head to the side. Her stocking feet were up on the wall, and her head was on the carpet. She had a book in her hands, and he didn't think she had noticed him come in. Then she spoke.  
  
"Yes, I'm upside down and reading. Do you have a problem with that?"  
  
He shrugged and sat down next to her. "Doesn't that bother you?"  
  
"Not really. Hey - I live alone. I have to do something to keep me amused."  
  
"I see."  
  
He leaned back against the couch and watched her read for a while. "I talked to Julia," he finally said.  
  
Natalie set her book down and looked up at him. Her eyes were questioning, but she remained silent.  
  
"I think we've made a start. It's hard to tell, after ten years of silence and everything else."  
  
Natalie swung her legs down and rested her body on the floor, her head by Gil's feet. "That's good."  
  
"You were right, you know. About not seeing you as you."  
  
She sat up and looked at him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, not looking at her.  
  
Natalie got up from the floor and sat next to him on the couch. "I know you didn't mean to," she replied just as softly.  
  
"I never really accepted losing Dawn, or Julia for that matter. It meant accepting there were things I couldn't control. I couldn't do that. So I looked for ways to deny it."  
  
Natalie stayed silent. She knew he had used her as a form of denial.  
  
"I want to thank you," he said quietly.  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being you." He looked away as he spoke. She smiled slightly.  
  
"You're welcome." She reached out to take his hand. "Thank you for being here, Gil. You didn't have to drop everything to come down here for me."  
  
"Yes, I did. You're my friend."  
  
Natalie savored that last sentence. It was a true acceptance of her as herself, not Dawn's little sister or a substitute for Julia. She smiled at him.  
  
"I have to get back to Las Vegas soon. Will you be okay?" he asked with concern.  
  
Natalie nodded. "I'll be fine."  
  
"You sure?"  
  
At that Natalie laughed. "Yes, I'm sure! You go back to your bugs and bodies before someone discovers they can get along without you!"  
  
Gil smiled. "I don't think that will happen."  
  
"You never know. You keep telling me you've got some bright people on your shift."  
  
"You should come to Vegas. Maybe meet some of them," he suggested.  
  
"I am not coming to Vegas so you can play matchmaker, Gil Grissom."  
  
He looked shocked, then smiled warmly. "I want you to come to Vegas because I enjoy your company, Natalie. The last time you were there you never got to see much of the city. I'd like to show you around. Let you meet my friends. Maybe at Christmas?"  
  
Natalie smiled. "I'd like that." 


End file.
